Hi All,
I thought today I'd talk a bit more about how things are going with me, but before I do, I want to give one important update regarding the business, to have that all cleared out of the way.
The current release date for Commander Legends seems to be the 20th of November. At this time both David and I will be in Wellington for the Jazz Festival, (as well as doing trading with whoever wants to catch up). While we have someone covered to sort orders at this time, this won't extend to sorting Commander Legends, something we will have to do when we get back on Monday (23rd of November). This means that any of you looking for Commander Legends singles won't be able to get them from us until Monday evening at the earliest. I apologize deeply for the inconvenience.
Thank you for everyone who sent messages of support after last weeks update.
While my time away has been beneficial, and much better than being at home, saying it has been relaxing would be an overstatement. I'm still figuring a lot of my thoughts and feelings, but being away has helped me to sort those out, and discover reasons for why I'm feeling higher levels of Anxiety. I definitely don't think I've figured out everything that's going on, or entirely what's triggering all of the anxiety within me. I finished off Celeste this week, for those of you who have experienced that, I found the story quite tough and very relatable.
With work, and changing of flatmates and other aspects going on in my life, one big aspect that I didn't have any time for, and therefore didn't realize it was happing is how HRT (taking estrogen and transitioning) is affecting me. The emotions I'm feeling from this process is sending me through a loop, and I'm not entirely coping. I think it was making it's way out through panic attacks when I was too busy to notice it being there.
I've been doing work in my room where I'm eating and sleeping because I haven't felt like dealing with my current flatmate which once I got away and stopped doing that, I noticed the positive changes in stress immediately. And the last thing I feel I can talk about at the moment (though it's certainly not all the stress and anxiety in my life) is that I seem to have developed not only panic attacks in response to the normal anxieties that go on in my life, but panic attacks in response to the fear of having panic attacks. It's a bit of a vicious cycle that way.
The atmosphere here on the west coast is incredible and that is helping. It's bought be down to level I can cope with, just thinking about matters that affect me here (mostly HRT), so I do worry a bit that it will all ramp up again when I'm home and dealing with more than just that. Thankfully I'm only in Christchurch for 4 more full days this month, and everything else I'm doing is what I really enjoy, with people I enjoy being with.
As you can probably tell, I'm not in the best space :P. I'm trying to sort the feelings I have while I'm here, and I'm going to see the my GP about getting some regular counselling when I'm back towards the end of the month.
I really appreciate your patience with me during this time, and I'm really happy to have David around dealing with all your orders and questions so I can take these 2 weeks to relax.
- Rose Willis
Here is this weeks wishlist offering 20% bonus on.
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